7 quick takes of generosity.
When I was little, my mom would always read a story with Christmas. Most of the time it was an heartwarming story about kindness and generosity. I felt that it was time to share some stories too because we have encountered so much heart warming kindness and humbling generosity since we live in Malawi.
1. 'Do you think Doris would like some food?' The kind night nurse sticks her head around the door. It has been a long night for her and my guess is that she is tired and ready to go home now that the day staff is starting to arrive. Her question surprises me. It's the first time in two days that somebody is asking it. They don't provide food here in the hospital; patients get medical attention, the family is responsible for everything else. I look at Doris, she seems less lethargic and healthier than she has looked in the past days. She will probably want to eat but I don't have much food left. I cannot buy anything in the hospital and Hartmut is suffering from malaria too so I don't want to ask him to make too many tiresome trips to the market and the hospital. 'If you have some, I'm sure she would eat it.' The nurse comes back after half an hour with a tupperware filled with cornflakes, some hot milk, an old baking powder tin with sugar, a plate of chips and some scrumbled eggs. An unusual combination but it makes Doris excited to eat. (Although before she eats she tells me that she won't eat it all but keep some for Sophie because Sophie likes chips too.) Before the nurse leaves because her shift is over she comes to say good bye. We thank her for the food and I joke that the hospital kitchen surprised me. Just before she dissapears through the door she turns around and says: 'It did not come from the hospital kitchen, I went to my own house to get some food that Doris would like. I hope it makes her strong.'
2. Fresh green beans, strong and juicy. Tomatoes in all shades of red and bigger than you have ever seen before. Avocados, broccoli, egg plant; the market in Mzuzu excites me so much that I would not mind moving there just so that I could go there every day to peruse the carefully layed out merchandise before deciding what to eat based on what is available and in best condition. We are going to take the taxi down to Usisya and then the small local boat back home so I don't want to buy much because I need to carry it all and it will only slow us down. Besides that; when we arrive we don't have a fridge to keep it cool and we need to eat everything before it starts rotting (and that happens overnight in this hot and humid weather) but I want to buy a few items that I normally don't get. Beetroot, courgette and avocado. The salesman looks at me. 'Nothing else?' 'Not today' I smile. Then he grabs a big hand full of green beans, enough for half a meal. 'It's a gifty' he says with a wide grin. They always do that, a few extra tomatoes, an onion or a green pepper. Whenever I go to the market I come home with something I like but did not ask for and it's always more than I paid for.
3. 'Take him, he is a good driver and he doesn't charge to much.' Phone numbers of reliable and fair taxi drivers are worth gold and once a driver had made a good impression in the expat community he can be sure that he is never out of work as people keep on referring him to each other. Our friend who gave us Simon's number did not eversell him. He arrives sort of punctual (ten minutes late is Malawian puntuality), is friendly and drives well. He will drive us down to Usisya on the long, dusty and bumpy road from Mzuzu. We need to be in Usisya before two to make sure that we catch the weekly boat to our village. The boat doesn't have a time table but reliable sources tell us that it is never there before two and most weeks much later than that. The journey is going fairly well when we all of a sudden hear a funny noise and Simon pulls over. Flat tire! Hartmut and Simon change the tire in lightning speed and we are driving again before we know it. We arrive 15 minutes before two at the place from where we hope to catch the boat. When we get out of the car, slowly because we have enough time, we are told that the boat has already come... And gone! Together me make a quick decision to chase the boat to where the road ends. Maybe we are still in time. Simon doesn't quite know where that place might me and we have been there but only on foot paths so with the help of the villagers we race through the paths that aren't actually made for cars until the car cannot go any further because the path becomes to narrow and too steep. When we stop there we hear an engine and some people who are hanging out under a tree tell us that the boat has just left but if we run and scream we might catch it. Hartmut, some villagers and Simon run to the beach where the boat has just started it's journey. They scream and wave until they catch the boat driver's attention. Then Simon runs back to the car and helps me, together with some other people who are enjoying the action to get all our belongings on the boat. If any of you ever need the number of a commited and kind driver in Malawi, I will send you Simon's 😉
4. This boat driver is a great example too. We cannot really communicate because he speaks only a few words English but his kind smile and generosity is enough to make us really like him. When we are in the village as he comes past he will always wait for us to give us a free lift home (a lift that turns a 20 minute walk that the girls are a bit bored of by now into a fun boat ride) and whenever he can he gives the girls biscuits, sweets or fruit.
5. There are no jetties and to get on the boat you always need to wade through a bit of water. In the rush Hartmut kicked of his flip flops and left on the beach. I wrote on social media that they were probably exploring the roads of Usisya on the feet of a lucky local who found them but I clearly underestimated the kindness of Malawi. It so happened that our taxi had stopped in front of a shop in Usisya that belongs to the brother of one of our neighbours. I had recognised the place but he wasn't there and in our rush to not miss the taxi we had no time to greet him anyway. We have no idea who picked up the shoes but somehow they made their way to the shop owner who gave them to his brother when he came to visit. Three weeks after our adventurous journey our neighbour and friend knocked on our door; in his hands he had the flip flops, neatly tied together with a piece of string.
5. For our trip through East Africa (that unfortunately got reduced to a trip to Tanzania) we needed yellow fever vaccinations for the girls. Many African countries do not let you in without a certificate and we did not want to risk it. Because so many countries require it I thought that it would be fairly easy to organise one but after a long search through all the possible places in Mzuzu I was proven wrong. A friend with many connections (you need that here) gave us the number of a nurse who had organised one for a friend of his. I called him and asked if he could do the same for us. 'No problem' he said. But actually, there was a small problem, he lives in Lilongwe, a 6 hour busride from Mzuzu and we did not really want to travel all the way to Lilongwe for a vaccination. 'No problem' he said again. He got on a night bus, travelled to the place where we were staying, gave the girls their injections (they did not find him kind nor generous 😉) and presented us with a handmade bag filled with handmade jewelry with out names hand carved in beads and wooden Africa shaped hangers. And he felt really really bad to ask us if we could maybe contribute towards the travel costs for the trip he made just for us.
6. It's Christmas day but there is very little that indicates that in the village. No decorations, no big special meals and no stress about presents or clothes. When I ask people how they celebrate Christmas most people tell me that it is not very different from most other days, apart from the fact that there will be rice and meat for lunch instead of the usual nsima. We are preparing our Christmas meal when 4 girls from the village show up at the lodge. They are all around 12 years old and come every now and then to play with the girls. The oldest comes to me and points at the two bags of popcorn they carried with them. "Christmas present for Sophie and Doris." She beams. They give them to the girls and when Sophie and Doris start sharing the popcorn they refuse to take much. These girls did most probably not get a gift for Christmas themselves but they come to us to share a gift with Sophie and Doris. What a great place to live.
7. I am a bit of a scatterbrain as it is but whenever we are in Mzuzu, going from one place to the next while ticking things of our to-do lists it's even harder for me to keep things together. In Mzuzu we usually travel by 'shared taxi'. A car (usually a sedan) waits at a certain place until it fills up (we never have to wait long) with people that all need to go to the same destination (mostly the city centre) and leaves as soon as it is full. It is cheap, fast and works like a charm. One of the days (one of those with an ambitious plan and already too little time) we were dropped opposite the small market where our tailor has her shop. She had made some skirts for the girls and me and I was excited to see them. Cars drive fast on the busy road and the driver gestured that we should be quick to get out. In the rush, I forgot my expensive sun hat in the car but I only realised this when the car was out of sight. What a great way to start the day. Some guys who were standing on the side of the road saw my annoyance and asked if they could help. We explained what had happened. 'Don't worry, he will come back to bring the hat.' they said. They seemed convinced but I did not really believe them. Would he even know it was ours and take time to bring it back? And if he would, when would he come back? We did not really have time to wait at that corner for a driver who may or may not come. We decided that Hartmut should wait for what may happen while I took the girls to the tailor. Her excellent work (skirts for the girls and me and chitenge hand bags for the girls and my nieces) perked me up a little but not as much as seeing Hartmut outside the shop, with a smile on his face and my hat in his hands. The driver had realised that I forgot my hat, turned around and brought it back to there where he had dropped us. Just like the men there, he too was clearly convinced that we would still be there to take it because in this place genuine generosity and trust in the kindness of others has not died yet. What a place to live and learn.
1. 'Do you think Doris would like some food?' The kind night nurse sticks her head around the door. It has been a long night for her and my guess is that she is tired and ready to go home now that the day staff is starting to arrive. Her question surprises me. It's the first time in two days that somebody is asking it. They don't provide food here in the hospital; patients get medical attention, the family is responsible for everything else. I look at Doris, she seems less lethargic and healthier than she has looked in the past days. She will probably want to eat but I don't have much food left. I cannot buy anything in the hospital and Hartmut is suffering from malaria too so I don't want to ask him to make too many tiresome trips to the market and the hospital. 'If you have some, I'm sure she would eat it.' The nurse comes back after half an hour with a tupperware filled with cornflakes, some hot milk, an old baking powder tin with sugar, a plate of chips and some scrumbled eggs. An unusual combination but it makes Doris excited to eat. (Although before she eats she tells me that she won't eat it all but keep some for Sophie because Sophie likes chips too.) Before the nurse leaves because her shift is over she comes to say good bye. We thank her for the food and I joke that the hospital kitchen surprised me. Just before she dissapears through the door she turns around and says: 'It did not come from the hospital kitchen, I went to my own house to get some food that Doris would like. I hope it makes her strong.'
2. Fresh green beans, strong and juicy. Tomatoes in all shades of red and bigger than you have ever seen before. Avocados, broccoli, egg plant; the market in Mzuzu excites me so much that I would not mind moving there just so that I could go there every day to peruse the carefully layed out merchandise before deciding what to eat based on what is available and in best condition. We are going to take the taxi down to Usisya and then the small local boat back home so I don't want to buy much because I need to carry it all and it will only slow us down. Besides that; when we arrive we don't have a fridge to keep it cool and we need to eat everything before it starts rotting (and that happens overnight in this hot and humid weather) but I want to buy a few items that I normally don't get. Beetroot, courgette and avocado. The salesman looks at me. 'Nothing else?' 'Not today' I smile. Then he grabs a big hand full of green beans, enough for half a meal. 'It's a gifty' he says with a wide grin. They always do that, a few extra tomatoes, an onion or a green pepper. Whenever I go to the market I come home with something I like but did not ask for and it's always more than I paid for.
3. 'Take him, he is a good driver and he doesn't charge to much.' Phone numbers of reliable and fair taxi drivers are worth gold and once a driver had made a good impression in the expat community he can be sure that he is never out of work as people keep on referring him to each other. Our friend who gave us Simon's number did not eversell him. He arrives sort of punctual (ten minutes late is Malawian puntuality), is friendly and drives well. He will drive us down to Usisya on the long, dusty and bumpy road from Mzuzu. We need to be in Usisya before two to make sure that we catch the weekly boat to our village. The boat doesn't have a time table but reliable sources tell us that it is never there before two and most weeks much later than that. The journey is going fairly well when we all of a sudden hear a funny noise and Simon pulls over. Flat tire! Hartmut and Simon change the tire in lightning speed and we are driving again before we know it. We arrive 15 minutes before two at the place from where we hope to catch the boat. When we get out of the car, slowly because we have enough time, we are told that the boat has already come... And gone! Together me make a quick decision to chase the boat to where the road ends. Maybe we are still in time. Simon doesn't quite know where that place might me and we have been there but only on foot paths so with the help of the villagers we race through the paths that aren't actually made for cars until the car cannot go any further because the path becomes to narrow and too steep. When we stop there we hear an engine and some people who are hanging out under a tree tell us that the boat has just left but if we run and scream we might catch it. Hartmut, some villagers and Simon run to the beach where the boat has just started it's journey. They scream and wave until they catch the boat driver's attention. Then Simon runs back to the car and helps me, together with some other people who are enjoying the action to get all our belongings on the boat. If any of you ever need the number of a commited and kind driver in Malawi, I will send you Simon's 😉
4. This boat driver is a great example too. We cannot really communicate because he speaks only a few words English but his kind smile and generosity is enough to make us really like him. When we are in the village as he comes past he will always wait for us to give us a free lift home (a lift that turns a 20 minute walk that the girls are a bit bored of by now into a fun boat ride) and whenever he can he gives the girls biscuits, sweets or fruit.
5. There are no jetties and to get on the boat you always need to wade through a bit of water. In the rush Hartmut kicked of his flip flops and left on the beach. I wrote on social media that they were probably exploring the roads of Usisya on the feet of a lucky local who found them but I clearly underestimated the kindness of Malawi. It so happened that our taxi had stopped in front of a shop in Usisya that belongs to the brother of one of our neighbours. I had recognised the place but he wasn't there and in our rush to not miss the taxi we had no time to greet him anyway. We have no idea who picked up the shoes but somehow they made their way to the shop owner who gave them to his brother when he came to visit. Three weeks after our adventurous journey our neighbour and friend knocked on our door; in his hands he had the flip flops, neatly tied together with a piece of string.
5. For our trip through East Africa (that unfortunately got reduced to a trip to Tanzania) we needed yellow fever vaccinations for the girls. Many African countries do not let you in without a certificate and we did not want to risk it. Because so many countries require it I thought that it would be fairly easy to organise one but after a long search through all the possible places in Mzuzu I was proven wrong. A friend with many connections (you need that here) gave us the number of a nurse who had organised one for a friend of his. I called him and asked if he could do the same for us. 'No problem' he said. But actually, there was a small problem, he lives in Lilongwe, a 6 hour busride from Mzuzu and we did not really want to travel all the way to Lilongwe for a vaccination. 'No problem' he said again. He got on a night bus, travelled to the place where we were staying, gave the girls their injections (they did not find him kind nor generous 😉) and presented us with a handmade bag filled with handmade jewelry with out names hand carved in beads and wooden Africa shaped hangers. And he felt really really bad to ask us if we could maybe contribute towards the travel costs for the trip he made just for us.
6. It's Christmas day but there is very little that indicates that in the village. No decorations, no big special meals and no stress about presents or clothes. When I ask people how they celebrate Christmas most people tell me that it is not very different from most other days, apart from the fact that there will be rice and meat for lunch instead of the usual nsima. We are preparing our Christmas meal when 4 girls from the village show up at the lodge. They are all around 12 years old and come every now and then to play with the girls. The oldest comes to me and points at the two bags of popcorn they carried with them. "Christmas present for Sophie and Doris." She beams. They give them to the girls and when Sophie and Doris start sharing the popcorn they refuse to take much. These girls did most probably not get a gift for Christmas themselves but they come to us to share a gift with Sophie and Doris. What a great place to live.
7. I am a bit of a scatterbrain as it is but whenever we are in Mzuzu, going from one place to the next while ticking things of our to-do lists it's even harder for me to keep things together. In Mzuzu we usually travel by 'shared taxi'. A car (usually a sedan) waits at a certain place until it fills up (we never have to wait long) with people that all need to go to the same destination (mostly the city centre) and leaves as soon as it is full. It is cheap, fast and works like a charm. One of the days (one of those with an ambitious plan and already too little time) we were dropped opposite the small market where our tailor has her shop. She had made some skirts for the girls and me and I was excited to see them. Cars drive fast on the busy road and the driver gestured that we should be quick to get out. In the rush, I forgot my expensive sun hat in the car but I only realised this when the car was out of sight. What a great way to start the day. Some guys who were standing on the side of the road saw my annoyance and asked if they could help. We explained what had happened. 'Don't worry, he will come back to bring the hat.' they said. They seemed convinced but I did not really believe them. Would he even know it was ours and take time to bring it back? And if he would, when would he come back? We did not really have time to wait at that corner for a driver who may or may not come. We decided that Hartmut should wait for what may happen while I took the girls to the tailor. Her excellent work (skirts for the girls and me and chitenge hand bags for the girls and my nieces) perked me up a little but not as much as seeing Hartmut outside the shop, with a smile on his face and my hat in his hands. The driver had realised that I forgot my hat, turned around and brought it back to there where he had dropped us. Just like the men there, he too was clearly convinced that we would still be there to take it because in this place genuine generosity and trust in the kindness of others has not died yet. What a place to live and learn.
