7 quick takes

14 September

7 quick takes

Sophie wanted to walk home...

Good morning! How is your morning? Here it’s calm and quiet. Hot season is coming so even though it’s early, it’s already warm. The girls are playing with Lego, Hartmut is at work and I have time to write a blog. I feel like that’s the same every week, because I think the girls get as many, if not more, hours of Lego-play as Hartmut gets hours of work done in a week ;-) Well, there are certainly worse addictions.
I have learned that there are two kinds of Lego play. And they are not interchangeable. Last week, Doris asked me if I wanted to come and play with the Lego with her. I told her that I was busy cooking but that I would come and play as soon as I was done. When the meal was ready, I sat down with her to stick to my promise. For more than an hour we chatted, laughed and built a cool house and a car. Then we had to eat and suddenly Doris started to cry. ‘I find it so hard that you never stick to your promise! You said you would play with Lego with me but you never did…’ I was flabbergasted. My fingers were still hurting from pressing bricks together, how could she say that I did not play? ‘But that was building!’ Doris said. ‘After building, there is playing, and you never did that…’She is right. I never did that. My creativity is good enough to build. But to take the creations into an imaginary world with never ending stories is something I unlearned. I can watch the girls for hours, they come up with the most creative storylines and their brains seem perfectly aligned. When Sophie takes the story in a certain direction, Doris will immediately take it further. As long as they have each other, they can travel the world without ever getting on a plane or in the car.
‘Please wet your hair before you do it, but whatever you do, never cut your hair while it is wet. And for an even result, first divide your hair in two braids so that you can cut the ends, or in pigtails, or nothing at all. Roll it up! Make ine pig tail! It doesn’t matter because it all works, or not at all. But at the very least, hang your head upside down and comb it all forward, or don’t do that but brush it all to the side.’ When I asked ‘the internet’ how to cut my own hair, I got the most contradicting pieces of advice. It seems as if everything should work but nothing would work at the same time. I watched some youTubers until I felt sufficiently confused and empowered to do it, looked for the sharpest pair of scissors in the girls’ craft box and gave it a go. It’s not bad. It’s definitely better than what it was before. That’s how desperate I was. It had been 18 months since the last haircut and what was growing on my head felt more like hay than anything else. At least now it has a bit more life. There is one hairdresser who does ‘mzungu hair’ in Lilongwe, but I am never long enough in the capital to make time for that. Perhaps I could make time but when I am there, I rather spend my time lunching in a nice restaurant than sitting at the hairdresser. It’s all about priorities and I like food better than appearances.
I am not the only one in our house who got a haircut this week. It is even possible that the other haircut in our household was done with the same pair of craft scissors. The only difference is that it wasn’t intentional. Yesterday when we were eating, I suddenly noticed that Doris had a lock of hair on her forehead that was considerably shorter than all the others. I asked if she cut it. ‘Maybe’ I asked if it was on purpose. ‘Not really.’ And she continued to eat. When she saw that I was still looking, she said ‘it really doesn’t matter. It will grow again’. And that was that for her. I love that attitude, but at the same time it is so foreign to me. Hartmut, Sophie and I are real perfectionists. If something doesn’t work out as planned, we beat ourselves up over it. When we make a mistake, we feel bad for days. Not Doris. She laughs at her mistakes, doesn’t look back with regret and will not cry one tear over her hair, or any other thing that didn’t go as she wanted. It’s great to have her in the house for some balance and wisdom.
We live in Senga Bay but if we want to buy something, or if we want a little outing, we have to go to Salima, which is about 20 kilometres away. Salima isn’t very exciting by any means, but the girls and I love the change of scenery. And there is DAPP, our favourite second hand clothing shop where we never walk out empty handed. Normally we would use the public taxis that are cheap and fast but because of corona, we don’t do that anymore. Using a private taxi is much more expensive so our trips have become few and far between. But last week we felt like it was time to go. Fortunately most shops open just after seven, so we hopped in the car with Hartmut as he went to work and he dropped us right in front of DAPP. We found some gems at DAPP, went to the new China shop to find out that it sells the same stuff as the other China shop, treated ourselves to mandazis on the side of the road and had a great outing. When one of the taxi drivers who knew us asked if we wanted to go back home, Sophie answered before I could. ‘No, we are going to walk!’ The taxi driver laughed because it’s definitely too far to walk for a 4 and 6-year-old. It wasn’t the first time that Sophie had asked this, so I decided to say yes. I knew we would never make it and agreed with the taxi driver that I would call him when we got stranded. He would then fetch us and drive us home. Sophie was delighted! We were finally doing what she always wanted to do. She started full of energy but soon found out that the speed of a car makes a distance feel much shorter than when you walk. After about four kilometres we had to give up and I called the taxi to bring us home. The driver was funny and teased Sophie about giving up. But while we were sitting comfortably in the back of the taxi, we talked about distance, speed of travelling and how that can fool you. Homeschooling done for the day…
A little bit more about DAPP. If you ask any expat in Malawi about their favourite shop, they will probably mention ‘DAPP’. It’s a charity shop that gets new stock of ‘kaunjika’ every two weeks. ‘Kaunjika’ means ‘clothes sold in a heap’ but in Malawi it’s also used to refer to big bales of second hand clothes. One never really knows what is inside but traders buy them, sort them and sell the content on the market. On the first Monday of the DAPP cycle, they open new kaunjika bales so the chance is high that you can find beautiful things. The catch is that that first Monday is also the most expensive day. As the days pass, prices drop and on the last Saturday, things are sold for next to nothing. The only problem is that by then, hardly anything of value is left. We like going in the middle of the cycle, when we can find great stuff for good prices. We often look at each other and laugh when we see that our entire outfits, bags and belts included, comes from DAPP. Our visit last week was a good one. I found a nice summer onesie and a denim dress, Doris found a shirt and Sophie two dresses. And we bought a flamingo-bedsheet that we (well, the tailor) turned into new pillow covers for the big pillows in the girls’ play corner. Did I already tell you that we love DAPP?
I have definitely written enough. Well done if you made it all the way to here. Now I am done listening to my own ‘voice’ and I will spend time with the girls instead. If they want. Because from the looks of it, they don’t really need me. Sophie is drawing and Doris is acting out a story from a book but she doesn’t want an audience. Anyway, I wish you a great week!